Torch
by herworship429
Summary: That was the heart of the thing. It was his honest answer. If not him, then who?


I'm not entirely sure how I missed that this series actually happened, but I'm glad I caught on... just a little introspective ditty. I guess it's sort of spoilery for episode 3? Anyway, Primeval/New World and all it's characters and etc aren't mine, just borrowing them for a bit. Hope y'all enjoy.

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It haunted him sometimes, the way Dylan had looked at him on that plane when she asked why he still chased after the anomalies. The question haunted him too, because he hadn't really answered it. Maybe he had gotten used to seeing what happened when worlds collided, but that didn't mean that it didn't still affect him when he saw someone he loved get torn to pieces. It didn't mean he didn't care if it happened again. It didn't mean that this stuff didn't still scare him.

Of course it all scared him, but the thing that scared him more was the fact that he _wanted_ to tell her the truth. He barely knew Dylan Weir. Drake's endorsement and her help with the raptors had made him offer her the job with Cross Photonics, but he didn't know her well enough yet to know if he could really trust her. And yet, when anyone else would have been frozen out for even bringing up his wife, he'd caved in and told her. The broad strokes, only, of course, but even Ange didn't know much more than the broad strokes, and she'd been his friend and confidant for years. Evan didn't know exactly what it was about Dylan that made him so eager to spill his deepest secrets, but… he wanted to do just that, there was no denying it. He wanted to tell her about the day his wife died, and explain about his rescuer… at least, as much as he understood about that. And most of all, he wanted to tell her about the other man, the one in the park who had warned him not to try and stop or interfere with the anomalies. Because if she knew about that, then maybe he could give her an honest answer.

And maybe if he told Ange about it, then he could finally express to her how much he just didn't care about Cross Photonics, how much he had _never_ really cared, at all, about the business side of their enterprises. He'd helped her build the companies, one after the other, and let her slap his name on them, and pretend he was in charge, because they allowed him to do whatever he wanted, but they were her babies, not his. This... this was different. The anomalies, and the creatures, it had thrilled him from the moment he started noticing the odd magnetic spikes. His wife's death had horrified him of course, and spurred him on in his quest for answers out of a need for closure, but nothing had ever inspired his passions the way the anomaly hunts did, and he couldn't find the words to tell her that. He loved Ange like a sister, and he knew that she just wanted him to stop taking stupid risks. But she didn't understand. Maybe she'd never be able to understand.

"It doesn't need to be you doing this," Ange had pleaded with him following that first foray with the raptors, "You're going to get yourself killed. There has to be someone who is more qualified than this."

"Who?" he answered, "The government? Lt. Leeds, in his messy basement?"

"Yes! I don't know... but why does it have to be _you_?"

_Because I know more about this stuff than anyone else in the city. Because someone passed me a torch and charged me with a duty, and I have to do it. Because if I don't do it, who will?_

And that was the heart of the thing. It was his honest answer. If not him, then who?

He didn't know what 'ARC' meant. He didn't know who the man in the park was. He didn't know where he'd come from, or where he'd gone, but the one thing that Evan Cross knew now with absolute certainty was that he wasn't alone in this search for the truth. There had been others before him, and they were calling him to their cause. Maybe he couldn't stop the anomalies, but they were there, and they were opening and things were coming through and threatening the safety of everyone in and near the city, and somebody had to keep the public safe.

Evan could still hear the unspoken 'but' behind the mystery man's final words in the park. He could still see the awe light up his eyes, the spark of joy in his offhand grin, and in that moment, Evan had realized that he knew this man, even if he didn't know his name or anything else about him. Because Evan Cross was the seeker and the scientist. He was the kid who took his parents' computer apart to see how it worked. He was the kind of man who wanted to understand the world around him, and he always recognized his own.

_It'll be difficult_, the man's eyes had seemed to say, _but you'll see wonders you've never even dreamed of_.

_It'll be dangerous_, the grin told him, _but it will also be the most fun you'll ever have_.

"No, it's not easy. Not even a little bit," the stranger had told him aloud. He hadn't needed to finish the sentence, because Evan heard the silent promise as clearly as if he had shouted it.

_It won't be easy. But it's worth it_.

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Thoughts are nice, if you guys are so inclined.


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